The impact of one person's life

From the film "It's A Wonderful Life"

You hear about the impact one person can have on many people, and most of us have watched the movie "It's A Wonderful Life" and saw the impact that George Bailey had on his family and town. I recently experienced this first-hand when my primary physician unexpectedly passed away. She had been my doctor since I left my pediatrician more than 40 years ago. While I knew she was not taking new patients, she was still working a full schedule.

Her death was sudden, unexpected and made me incredibly sad. When I heard the news, I burst into tears. This was a woman who had seen me through illnesses, literally saved my life when I had toxic shock syndrome in 1981, who saw me through marriage, the death of my mother, and more. Her absence is profound, and intimate in a way that is hard to describe.

Her physician son took over the practice, but did not want to continue with it,  and abruptly closed the the practice. Gone are 40 years of health records, which really were the history of my body. My husband is in the same boat although he had "only" seen her for about 28 years.

She was a general practitioner in the truest sense of the term. With her as our doctor, we did not need to see other specialists. She even played the role of marriage counselor at times, with her engaging personality, sparkling wit and common sense. The search for a new doctor has been rough. We found a GP, but also now need a cardiologist, a neurologist, an ob-gyn, and who knows what else.

She died last October. It is now September and almost 11 months have passed. We are still feeling the impact and the loss, the incredible loss. The ripples from this death have amazed me and surprised me. I'm sure I am not the only person feeling this loss. Employees were suddenly without jobs, a family was without a matriarch, and a church lost an incredible leader and parishioner.

Life is short. Enjoy it. Do good things. Spend time with the people you want to spend time with. To me, that has meant spending time with people who share my values and people who I have known over a long period of time. Don't waste time on the "small stuff." Life is short. Enjoy it.

Guns, guns and more guns. Now in your pockets and purses.

I was working today and heard the news that Illinois just became the final state in the U.S. to allow people to carry concealed guns. This news sickens me. Over the July 4th weekend, 70 people were shot in the city of Chicago. Eleven of them died, and the rest are in various stages of pain and misery.

As I talked with some friends last night, the topic of what can be done about the recent violence came up. There are a lot of opinions about what should be done to stem the bloodshed. Some in the law enforcement community believe that the hands of police officers are tied and that they cannot do their jobs. Why? Some ideas: Smart phones with cameras. Fear of lawsuits. Who knows.

Some people believed that the areas in which shootings happen are prone to gang violence and that much of the crime is isolated there. But some of the most recent shooting victims are children, babies really. Innocents. They didn't choose where to live; don't they deserve more?

Guns are everywhere already and now it is legal to carry them in your purse or pocket or wherever. I know that smarter people than me are trying to figure out how to deal with this problem. I can't reconcile the good parts of the country that I love with the right-to-bear-arms contingent. I don't understand people who love guns. Most of the time, people are hurt or killed because people who have guns illegally use them for crimes. Innocent people are caught in crossfire. Some people are killed in accidents. And some people kill themselves with guns because it is easy and very final. I agree that the current gun laws should be enforced more strictly. I also agree that the only thing that will get peoples' attention is money. The NRA and politicians don't want to lose money from gun owners' contributions. The gangs make money from illegally selling guns that are bought legally and illegally. Lots of people who oppose guns don't have the money to fight in this arena. It is a complex issue, but I understand that the big money wins. It makes me sad. Let's take the big money out of gun-owning and see what happen.

Women and Work: Bands are businesses too!

This is really a note of appreciation to a band: Heart.

I recently watched the TV special about the bands and artists that were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame this year. One of them was Heart, a band founded by two sisters, Ann and Nancy Wilson.  They have been together since the early 60s, almost as long as the Rolling Stones, but really became popular in the 1970s and after.

Photo courtesy Heart-music.com

As they accepted their award, it was interesting to listen to them talk about being women in business. They talked about having kids, working when their kids were small, and dealing with a male-dominated business all these years, too. It was interesting because you really don't think of a band as a business, but it really is. They are artists as well as entrepreneurs. Their business employs a lot of people and earns a lot of revenue. I saw Heart for the first time at the University of Illinois on November 15, 1978. They absolutely blew me away. I covered the concert for the yearbook, Illio, and in the yearbook I wrote that it was strange to see men carrying roses to them on the stage, and that they really had a cult-like following on campus.

After all these years, Ann and Nancy Wilson showed during their recent Hall of Fame induction that they have aged well, they appreciate their fans, they have remained with their band, and held their business together against many odds that have shattered and shuttered other businesses, let along bands. As a woman who came of age just a few years behind them, I appreciated seeing them in 1978, and they gave me a perspective on music that I didn't have before. This year, they gave me a perspective about being women in business and entrepreneurs that I didn't fully appreciate. I have tickets to see them this summer at Ravinia here in the Chicago area, and I am really looking forward to it. It is great to see strong, talented women who have beaten the odds, created amazing songs and memories for their fans, and earned their place in music history. Cheers to Ann and Nancy Wilson, and to the boys in their band too!

There's something to be said for leisure....

There's something to be said for leisure. One of my good friends recently reminded me of that line from one of our favorite movies, White Christmas. The line in the movie was in the context of the retired general remaining retired and being too old for active duty.  My friend reminded me of it as I prepared to leave one professional role and begin to determine what my next role will be. She assumed I would be taking it easy for a while while I had my thinking time.

My trouble is that leisure is not a word associated with me or my workaholic family. I come from a long line of people who think that holding down only one job makes you a slug. Most people in my family have a primary job and then one or more other jobs. It is probably the work ethic of my Polish ethnicity that has been handed down through the years.

So, as I determine what I want to do for a living for the next few years, I am very busy with non-profit work and for giving my skills to friends who own locally-owned businesses.

So I am sure there is something to be said for leisure, only I am not sure what it is!

What inspires you? Here is one of my inspirations.

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do." 

This was written many years ago by someone who has been a true inspiration to me for close to 30 years: Eleanor Roosevelt. Eleanor Roosevelt was born 129 years ago, but her wisdom is one for the ages. I began my fascination with her in 1984, during the centennial year of her birth.

In 1984, my husband and I were living in Washington, DC and had been there for about one year. The Smithsonian Institution, where we were members, put on an exhibit about Eleanor Roosevelt that was dramatic, poignant and yes, historical. This woman was remarkable, and it is clear to me that she was modern for her time, wise beyond her years, and cared deeply for humanity.

Starting in 1984, I devoured every book written by or about Eleanor Roosevelt. I found her inspiring, strong, and someone who I could model my behavior on as a young wife moving to a new place. To this day, I often read her words to give me inspiration. Sometime I wonder about how she would fit into today's world. I think she would fit right in. Her daily newspaper column would be posted online and perhaps she would have her own blog or web site. Her behavior, some of which at the time was deemed outrageous, would fit in today and some of her pro-woman, pro-diversity and inclusion opinions would still be ahead of the times.

We all need someone to inspire us, and I, along with many others, found Eleanor Roosevelt to be a perfect source of wisdom through the years. For those who have not studied her, you might be interested in reading about her. I highly recommend it. Thank you, Eleanor!

Some down time at last

Another Christmas Day is here. Time to reflect on the year and on those who have made an impact on me. Today is perfect. The snow is falling lightly, just enough to make things look festive outside but not enough to really impede travel. We will be spending time today with good friends and family. We spent Christmas Eve in Wisconsin with my sister and her family. My sister and brother-in-law led the music for the Christmas Eve service and it was beautiful as always. God has given them musical talent that they use to make others happy at this time and throughout the year. One of my nieces got engaged, and it is hard to imagine that since it seems like just yesterday that I was holding her in my arms as a baby.

The cookies are baked, the other food is prepared, and we are relishing the quiet and down time. We have seen more movies in the past couple of weeks, which shows that we are trying to make time for our "dates." We saw The Hobbit, which is good but so far not as inspired as the Lord of the Rings. Perhaps we are all too jaded and spoiled from that magical trilogy. We also saw Skyfall, which is probably my favorite James Bond movie to date. I wonder what it means that I liked it more than my husband, who is the hard-core James Bond fan? If it appeals more to women, is the Bond genre losing its "edge"?

So as we head into another new year, I hope you all find peace and contentment through this holiday season, remember those who are gone fondly, and treat others kindly. For that is really what matters in the end.

Time to slow down

This time of the year usually feels so rushed. This year I am going to try to slow down and enjoy my friends and family. The decorations are up, the gifts have not been bought yet (but that's OK) and I have begun my annual baking today.

Keeping things in perspective is important. I think about the strife in the world and feel blessed to live where I do in a free country, despite our political divides. As a former journalist, I watched yet another decline in journalistic / media civility this week when some radio hots made a prank phone call to the hospital where one of the British royal family was, and a nurse subsequently committed suicide, apparently over the call. Perspective. It's important.

Enjoy the holiday lights. Enjoy your families, Enjoy your friends. Be happy to be alive. If you have good health, be grateful for that. If you have an extra few dollars, give to a non-profit that helps others. The feeling you have at this time of year is more important than the things you have. Slow down and enjoy.