There are some days when I reflect back on how far women
have come in business, and some days when I just shake my head. Recently, a
meme on social media showed photographs of important international events,
political gatherings, and business meetings. One picture shows a group photo,
the next photo shows the same photo with all the men removed. The women are few
and far between. It was a stark reminder of how far women have yet to travel on
the business journey.
The other day I related to another woman in business some of
the more outrageous things that happened to me during my 30+ years in the
business world. She is younger and had a hard time believing some of them. These events really happened, and I thought I’d memorialize some of them here.
I spent many years in male-dominated businesses. But then again,
what business has not been male-dominated? When I worked for one of the largest
printing companies in the country, I realized I was missing out on business
connections because I didn’t golf. This was the late 1980s / early 1990s. Many
of the printer’s suppliers networked with my male colleagues on the golf
course. I decided to learn to golf. I bought a set of used golf clubs, and took
some lessons so that, at a minimum, I learned golf etiquette. I began to golf and practiced on Saturdays. I
was eventually invited to attend some golf outings, too.
One of the more memorable ones was an event at Wynstone Golf
Course, in South Barrington, Illinois. It was a beautiful course, and Michael
Jordan played there back in those days. It
was fancy! First of all, there were only two other women playing in the outing.
What did the organizers do? They put the three of us together in a
threesome. Nice. Next, one of male
golfers took it upon himself to yell at me after the golfing was
completed. He stood across from me and
pointed at me: “If it wasn’t for you, we would be playing at Medinah.” The Medinah course, at that time, did not
allow women to play on its master course.
I was around 30 years old at this time, and it was disconcerting to have
an older businessman yell at me. My only
retort was: “I would love to play at Medinah but they won’t let me. Why don’t
you take it up with them?”
Another memorable time came when I was the only woman vice
president and on a leadership team for a publishing company. My company engaged
a management consulting firm to help us improve productivity and “re-engineer”
the manufacturing processes we had. The consulting company took us offsite to a
retreat they owned in rural Louisiana for a few days. This place was like
something out of Deliverance, very rustic and remote. We met as a group during
the day, had dinner, and then the evenings were to be spent in the main house
where the meetings and sleeping quarters were. The only hitch was that they
hadn’t had women there before and all the washrooms, sleeping areas, and public
areas were communal. They scrambled to figure out what to do with me, and
decided that I would spend my nights in a separate cabin on the property. Each
night I was escorted there, and I was given instructions to stay in my cabin
and not venture out. Why? Because they had guard dogs securing the property in
addition to the fences and other security measures. The dogs would attack me if
I went out alone. I felt like I was in a prison camp, and missed out on the
opportunities to “bond” with my colleagues in the evening because I was stuck
alone in a cabin in the bayou. My imagination heard the faint chords of banjo
music drifting over the swamp at night.
I participated in diversity training at a large printing
company in the early 1990s. When the diversity instructor asked the male
manager of the facility if he went out with the guys for beers after work, he
most assuredly said, ‘of course’. When the instructor asked the manager if they
talked about work issues there, the manager assuredly replied, ‘of course’.
When the instructor suggested that the manager include the women supervisors,
like me, in the after work events, the manager replied: “That’s impossible.
What would my wife think?” That manager was an older man who regularly hosted
poker games at his house for my male peers. No women allowed. After the diversity training, he invited me
to my first poker game. What a triumph! The win was being invited. Since I
don’t play cards or gamble, I was able to politely thank him for the invitation
and show my appreciation as I begged off. Was that really a success for women?
I’m sure many of you, other women executives, have stories
like these:
- The male customer who literally chased me around a party when I was in my 20s. My boss at the time helpfully told me to “be nice to him, but run faster and don’t let him catch you.”
- The conference calls I’ve been on when I hear male colleagues literally going to the bathroom and flushing the toilet on the call.
- The first time I managed men who were older than me and listening to comments about my inexperience, and “what does she know, she’s just a girl.”
I love men. I’m married to one. It seems a sad commentary that in my 30+ years
of business, there are still so few women at the top of businesses. Very few in
boardrooms, too. Until I retire, I will continue to coach and mentor young
women in business today. They can still get far, if they have the stamina, the
perseverance, and the stomach for it. Diversity is the future, and the growth
of today’s businesses depend on it. What are you doing to help the cause? Let’s
work together to make sure women have a seat at the table and not sit alone in
a cabin, guarded by a dog.
